Thanksgiving is such a special time of year. Families get together, feasting and imbibing, happy and doughy-eyed from excess. But after the weekend comes Cyber Monday and the aftermath is like a Russian novel…
All you are left with are fragments of memories from the Thanksgiving weekend: the high-pitched screams of children knife-fighting each other for the remaining Turkey stuffing – once piled high in your great grandma’s finest lead-lined chafing dish, now rapidly dwindling in supply. The box-of-wine-soaked tears of your sister-in-law as she admits she forgot her firstborn son in the frying pan aisle of a Walmart. A flash of the half-burned, ash-laden cigarette perched precariously on your mother-in-law’s bottom lip as she stared at you, wondering why her favorite child decided to marry a lowly desk clerk. And finally, the wall of your living room bathed in the epileptic flickers of a $150 Black Friday TV - an 89-inch North Korean knockoff flat screen made by “Penasonic,” which you can't even pronounce without your loved ones getting offended.
Or maybe you had a blast and got buck-wild with the people you love most! Perhaps you even took a moment to say thanks for all of the good things in your life. Chances are you also got your hands on some succulent Black Friday deals - but maybe, just maybe, you missed out on something you really wanted. Fear not! This Cyber Monday, you can get some sweet Windscribe Pro action for only $29 a year, or grab yourself 3 years of Pro for just $69. That’s right! We extended our Fuchsia Friday deal into Cyber Monday! Are we drunk? Manic? Mouth-foamingly crazy from rabies? The answer is yes!
We know what you’re thinking: “Windscribe should have renamed Cyber Monday to Magenta Monday to keep with the rare-color holiday rebranding.” Well, we thought about that but didn’t want to melt your minds with the sheer level of innovation we’re capable of. We literally sweat innovation – it’s actually painful and doesn’t smell good, either. Imagine the scent of whiskey and “matured” shrimp. But our sense of smell, and/or the smell of our sweat, could be affected by the high likelihood that we contracted rabies when Aunty Gertrude’s dog bit our leg, thinking it was a fully cooked 18-pound turkey. It’s not a smart dog, and we are out of shape. But our loss is your profit, 'cuz the rabies has definitely made us crazy enough to keep this deal going until December 4th. After that, it’s gone forev… until next year! Or is it?!
We truly hope that your Thanksgiving weekend was filled with love and toothsome delicacies, and want to thank you all again for using Windscribe. And for those of you who haven’t yet seen our awesome "ABCs of the Internet" YouTube Shorts, you definitely should. There are also super secret codes hidden within the shorts that get you crazy deals and prizes - we told you we're innovative...
Love, peace, and turkey grease!