Illustration of spaceship and explosion with the text Windependence Day $29/yea
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Windependence Day Sale: Pro for $29/Year!

Simon Phoenix
Simon Phoenix

The first week of July is a magical time, a celebration combining the independence days of two of the greatest nations to ever have the letter A in them: Canada and America. A time we refer to as Windependence Day - a time filled with joy… and the best VPN deal of the year. But many of you may not know about the founding of these two nations…

President Pullman talking into a microphone
Bill Pullman: The Greatest American President in History

On a bleak and snowy summer night in July of 1867, a Canadian moose got into a very heated argument with a beaver over which Bryan Adams song slapped the hardest. Legend has it their rage could be heard across the lands, likely deafening birds and squirrels alike. Saddened by the interaction, the moose shed a single, powerful tear onto a perfect snowflake that grew into the great nation of Canada. A nation crippled by rent prices and a government more suited to running an IHOP all-you-can-eat pancake raffle than a country.  

A Gif of Mel Gibson in Braveheart shouting FREEEEEDOM!
 We all end up dead, it's just a question of how much money we saved

Many of you have heard of America, and for those of you who haven’t, how about a little history lesson? The United States was founded on July 4th, 1776, when a mighty bald eagle swooped down from the heavens to defend Texas from Tyrannysaurus Rexes. The battle against tyranny (hehe) resulted in the founding of the greatest nation on Earth, a place where a man named ‘Dog’ could make millions of dollars bounty-hunting on television. A place that made Steven Segal famous before he became a human manatee. A place where any man, woman, or child can start a pubic-wig drop-shipping business while drinking high-fructose corn syrup straight from the corn’s teat. Now that’s freedom baby! And freedom ain’t free. Because if it was, Americans would have lined up outside of a Best Buy to get it years ago.

Illustration of T-Rex in uniform with the text Sic Semper Tyrannysaurus
It all started with the Tyrevolutionsaurus Rex

But you can pay for freedom… on the internet. Like that segue? We’re professionals here. Also who came up with the spelling of the word segue? It should sound like ‘say-gyou’ or ‘seg’. English is ridiculous. Aaanyways, on this auspicious Windependence Day, you can get a Windscribe Pro account for less than $2.42 a month! Because it’s technically $2.416666 a month. That’s only $29 a year! It’s the best deal around for the best VPN on Earth, and probably the universe! What does Windscribe Pro get you? Unlimited everything - bandwidth, server access, everything! It’s like a Pizza Hut buffet, just without the copious amounts of regret and diarrhea. 

Love, peace and Canadian Geese,

Team Windscribe

Simon Phoenix
Simon Phoenix