Fuchsia Friday - The Greatest Deal Ever Dealt
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Fuchsia Friday - The Greatest Deal Ever Dealt

Simon Phoenix
Simon Phoenix
Now with 1337% more fuchsia!

Fuchsuristic Deals and Videos!

When Windscribe was created in 1734 by Professor Doctor General Winnefred D. Scribelson, he had one goal in mind: make the best all-beef hotdogs possible at the lowest price imaginable. Since he was a professor, a doctor, and a general, it's hard to disagree with him.

Obviously, a lot has changed since then. For one, Windscribe isn't a hotdog company anymore due to the public outcry resulting from Prof. Dr. Gen. Scribelson's invention: the invisible hotdog. Designed "to maintain user privacy when eaten”, his invention ended up being the 18th-century equivalent of the invisible salt shaker prank, violating decency laws and causing hundreds of people to faint from overstimulation.

GIF of a man really not enjoying the hot dog eating competition
Imagine the hotdog was invisible for a second. Aaaand now you know how the 18th century felt.

Today, Windscribe does have the world's best all-beef* VPN, as well as vegan, and gluten-free options for our delicate, feather-boned friends out there… Something tells us that a few of our vegan users will be up in arms about that comment, but let's face it, lettuce doesn't provide them with the energy required to tweet their rage. The rest of them are laughing and understand that Windscribe makes fun of everyone. Equally. All the time. Because according to the Huffington Post and Canadian Prime Minister-that-sometimes-wears-black-face Trudeau: equality is important.

Oprah Winfrey meme GIF - "Everybody gets roasted!"
Burn treatments cost extra. Thanks US Healthcare system! USA! USA!

In keeping with our ancient founder's philosophy, one sacred Thanksgiving Friday a year, Windscribe celebrates the biggest sale in history: Fuchsia Friday - the best all-beef VPN, at the lowest price imaginable! What is Fuchsia Friday? Many of you may know it as Black Friday, but that is RACIST because one shouldn't refer to a group of people as 'Fridays'. Fuchsia Friday is like Black Friday with the added benefit of being more convenient and infinitely more complicated to spell! Ready for the deals?

Let's face it, going to the mall on Black Friday is like going to an orgy at the FTX mansion: you're excited about it before you get there; you're disappointed with what you find when you arrive; everyone is high on Adderall; and the event organizers are criminals that are stealing your money. Fuchsia Friday, on the other hand, only requires you to sit on your firm, well-formed buttocks with a hot chocolate in hand, click some buttons, and get yourself Windscribe Pro for less than the cost of a pack of cigarettes in Australia!

What's more, after you get the deal you'll have plenty of time left over to think of ways to avoid talking to your estranged uncle Jimothy about his theory that turkeys were created by God to make chickens jealous. No matter how right he may be, there are more important things to talk about… Like the sweet Windscribe YouTube Shorts contest below!

Check out our brand new shorts series, starting today!
If you don't watch our videos, our animator's cartoon-mouse-children won't be able to eat!

Before we go, we wanted to say thank you to all of our users, our lovers, and our haters for using Windscribe, and hope you all have a happy, safe, and wonderful Thanksgiving. And for those of you in countries that don't celebrate Thanksgiving, the US will probably drum up some fake excuse to invade you at some point… so preemptive Happy Thanksgiving for when that happens!

Love, love, love

Team Windscribe

*There are no actual beef or beef-related products in Windscribe VPN. Sorry, Texas.

Simon Phoenix
Simon Phoenix