The Windscribe Spooktacular Halloween Deal has Ended
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The Windscribe Spooktacular Halloween Deal has Ended

Simon Phoenix
Simon Phoenix

Halloween has come and gone - but you can still get Windscribe for $69/year!

When we were young, Halloween was a magical time. You’d dress up as a Ninja Turtle, gather your closest delinquent friends, as many illegal fireworks as you could find, and let the trick or treating begin. Parents would warn you about tainted candy as if people wanted to share their expensive drugs with kids, and then let you roam free in the crisp night air to get into Roman candle fights with each other. It was like The Purge, but with candy – Oh, sweet, sweet, childhood!

Gif of older trick-or-treater from That 70s Show saying "Where is my candy you son of a bitch"

Then you’d get home with your candy bag bursting at the seams, plop yourself down, and spend the rest of the night watching Ernest Scared Stupid, mainlining sweets until your pancreas audibly screamed as it got waterboarded with the insulin you forced it to produce. Suddenly, you’d find a Tootsie Roll and curse the household that gave it to you. Finding those wax-wrapped pieces of dehydrated dog poop was like getting punched in the hoo-hah - a disappointment greater than your parents feel when they find out their only child writes VPN emails for a living. Not our parents, though - we told them we deal drugs to children. Much less disappointing.

Gif of man lying in pile of Halloween candy, exhausted
Halloween 8: The Aftermath

Nowadays, things are a bit different. The world has become scarier than being married to Jada Pinkett Smith, and Halloween just isn’t as spooky as it used to be. What are kids even supposed to dress up as to scare people? Inflation? A mortgage payment? Sam Bankman-Fried... or worse... his girlfriend? We don’t have kids at Windscribe, but we do have adorable little IP addresses. And here, every day is Halloween. We dress up your precious home IPs as our IPs, and then we send them to go trick or treating for internet content. And unlike most typical Halloween costumes - sexy koala bear, sexy fireman, sexy judge, and so on - ours aren’t revealing.

Sam Bankman-Fried's ex-girlfriend getting in car
Hide the children and our crypto wallets, honey; it's the Babadook!

So this Halloween treat yourself to some discounted privacy and security, in addition to bite-sized candy bars and glucose overdoses. But wait... there's more. We are also hosting a Twitter costume contest on October 31st, so post your most insane costumes for  for some chances to win 3 Months of Windscribe Pro for FREE (CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED). Let's face it, none of us are young enough to get away with trick or treating anymore, and according to the World Health Organization, the only thing that comes close to getting free candy is getting a free VPN account. Did they actually say this? Who cares, no one listens to them anyways.

Happy Halloween ya Hallowieners!

Team Windscribe

Simon Phoenix
Simon Phoenix