Over on the frontlines of Windscribe Support, we take our jobs seriously. You can’t connect? Let’s sort it out. Your account didn’t upgrade properly? We’re on it. Streaming issues? We've got you covered.
But as we make our way through the roughly 300-400 daily tickets, we occasionally come across something that brings a smile to our faces - whether it’s Google Translate running amok, a creative take on the name “Windscribe,” or a deep philosophical question we had never considered. We promise we are NEVER laughing at your problems, but we do get a chuckle from a ticket here and there.
Without compromising anyone’s privacy or making fun of our dear users, allow me to share with you some of the tickets that brought us LOLz.
What’s In a Name?
How could you forget a name like Windscribe? To kick off this list, let's take a look at some of our favourite variations - including the secret origins of the name of the blog!
Okay, this sounds like an awesome name for a super-extreme sunscreen that can handle the toughest weather out there.
Do you prefer the drumstick or the flat? This user must have been super hungry.
We love this - it gives us more of an international vibe. We're always thrilled to know people from all around the world enjoy our service!
Ok, this one kind of sounds like an STD, if we're honest.
Wandscribe - a magical place indeed!
A quick search through our tickets reveals that this variation showed up over 60 times. In fact, we loved Windscribble so much that it became the official name of our blog!
Funny Fonts and Formatting
Some people make the most out of email text formatting and use it to yell at us for one reason or another.
This next guy was always welcome in our tickets as he had the most creative use of brackets and ALL CAPS we've ever seen!
Make sure you download your GIGA (5) EXTENSIONS!
Oh, You’re Big Mad
It is inevitable that out of tens of thousands of people submitting tickets, not everyone will be happy. Some of those people express their contempt in ways that we like to describe as poetic.
Fucked up shit-show? Sign me up!
That’s right, Windscribe is pivoting to the food industry. We will fully dedicate ourselves to selling hamburgers...but probably without the warfare.
This one was in response to a marketing email where we mentioned an “alien cross-dressing Hitler.” Too soon?
Speaking of Hitler, this next one was in response to one of our 420 emails:
Are we the Illuminati? That’s a genuine question because if we are, I want to know where my perks are.
Google Translate? More like Google LOLZate.
Honestly, Google Translate is clutch! It helps us communicate with our users all over the world. We would be NOTHING without Google translate. But sometimes, the translations are a little rough…
This one was pretty easy to decipher. Jacks, gigs, you get it.
We promise no egg-twisting has occurred at Windscribe since late 2016, far before this ticket was submitted.
Yes, we have no bandwiches. We have no bandwiches today. (Sung to the tune of No Bananas).
Things That Make You Go Hmmm?
These tickets are ones that gave us pause because we had NO clue what was going on. Then we laughed because, really, what else could we do?
This one begs so many questions...how did they get banned from Microsoft, who is Pony, how would marrying their daughter get other people to help them, and what does any of that have to do with Windscribe?
Our scientists have tried to decipher this one for years but still haven’t cracked the code. We do appreciate the wisdom, though.
While we pride ourselves on our ability to offer support to everyone, some requests are simply too much for us to handle.
What does it mean? How did the phone get in the bottle? Did Windscribe do this? Were they able to get the phone out of the bottle?? We, unfortunately, never got a reply.
Garry is the support chatbot on our website. He is part of the Supportium Roboticus species.
What is the use, indeed? What is the point of anything? Why are we here? This ticket asks the big questions.
The fascination with the human body is endless, though we have noticed a particular obsession with a few key body parts… Any guesses which ones?
Poor Garry. He puts up with a lot.
You’re Not The Founder
This one gave me a lol, especially our final reply. This unhappy user was savagely critiquing the exact placement of sunglasses on a Doge meme featured in a marketing email. Yegor, our fearless leader, stepped in, but this user wasn't buying it.
Can a Cat…?
No matter what the question, Windscribe is here for you. Even if Garry can’t quite figure out what is going on…
This ticket came to us, and of course, dear readers, we assured the user:
Thanks for coming on this little journey with me and I hope you had a chuckle or two. And remember, please feel free to reach out to Support at any time. Especially if it’s about your cat and whether or not they can have little a salami.